One of the young people I know is a Strict Perfectionist on the Enneagram, the Type 1. These are hardworking people with very strong thoughts on what is right and what is wrong in life. They see potential perfection and work towards it with all they have, often forgetting to relax. Their personal growth path includes learning to have more fun, to be more flexible, to go with the flow. And this is exactly what her horse teaches her.
The fun comes from a horse that does silly things like spook at a pink rucksack but bravely walks past a huge digger loader in full swing, literally. A horse that eats grass and looks up, all green around the mouth, drooling in a way that makes green slime monsters look tame.
The flexibility stems from a horse that on some days would do the perfect move, would listen beautifully to what is asked of her and the very next day this same majestic animal would dig her heels in, looking like a rescue donkey who had just seen the Incredible Hulk emerge from the ground!
And so this serious and intense teenager I once knew, grew up to become a young lady who has managed to incorporate flexibility and fun into life in a way that has stood her in good stead. Today she holds her own amongst much older professionals in a confident and relaxed way, keeping to her vision of perfection, but without the angst that sometimes accompanies the “1†personality in this quest.
A second youngster I have observed over the years is a Type 3 personality – they are the Competitive Achievers. Hard task-masters, they drive themselves and others to work at the project at hand to reach the finish line. Winning is important to them. A growth path for the 3 personality is to learn that achievement with accolades is not everything, to enjoy the experience in the now and to recognise the strength in loyalty and commitment to the process even if that does not mean visible achievement.
This amazing young rider who is extremely talented often walked away with all the rosettes at a show, whether she was riding her own half-lease at the time or any other horse. She has talent and she has a way with horses. Until she got her own young steed.
Sadly he has a genetic defect that started showing up as pain once he was about five years old. He can no longer be ridden, never mind competitively. Today I see a young woman who has walked a full circle, staying loyal and loving to the animal for who he is and not for what he does. She has taken a step back from competitive riding and in doing so, has started winning in her own life, relaxing through the equestrian experience instead of frenetically pushing herself to achieve more.
I can see why so many people are today acknowledging the strength of what these mighty animals do for us, not only in a competitive arena, but as mirrors of who we are and where we can go. Equestrian Psychology is a growing industry and the ability of the horse (and many other animals) to help heal us is one for which we can be forever grateful.
© Debbie Engelbrecht
Debbie is the CEO of Staff Training, a soft skills training company offering more than 60 short courses including Etiquette, Diversity and Conflict Management. Find out more here.