Tell Me What You Think, And Be Honest - [website] Published: 10th of Jan 2012 by: Miss Knowitall
Criticism, whether it is from a friend, family member or complete stranger, is often difficult to hear.
No one ENJOYS being told where their faults lie (in fact they usually hate it…) and I’m pretty sure if most of us had our way we’d hear nothing but compliments day in and day out.
But then, how would we ever improve on ourselves? If no one ever told us where we were going wrong it would be near impossible to make right, and we’d carry on thinking everything’s hunky dory when in reality it’s not.
Changing your perspective to see criticism as an opportunity to grow instead of getting your back up when you hear it makes the whole process of receiving criticism a far more positive one, with the result that you become more aware of the areas in your life that are in need of improvement, and can thus work on them.
So GIVING criticism must then be the easy part, right? Wrong. You’d think telling others where THEIR faults lie would be a piece of cake (and for some it definitely is!), but those of us with an ounce of empathy in our bodies feel bad when criticising others; we don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings or have them react in an aggressive or negative way, so we tend to avoid the confrontation all together.
We mumble over criticism and harp on the things we liked, but short of giving the person asking an enormously big head dodging criticism does no good at all. So ask yourself why you are criticising, what you want them to gain from it, and then learn to deliver it in a positive way. (The Kiss Kick Kiss method works well.)
Just remember to be honest. If Bob approaches you at the water cooler asking what you thought of his speech don’t be afraid to give your point of view, he may just thank you for it in a couple of weeks!
For more on giving and receiving criticism, as well as assertive behaviour in general, check out www.stafftraining.co.za
