N O Spells NO! - [website] Published: 18th of Nov 2011 by: Miss Knowitall
Are you one of the many people who find it difficult to say no, and as a result end up feeling frustrated and overworked and left with little or no time for yourself?
Being able to say “no” in a way that you feel comfortable with is one of the most important things you can learn if you’re feeling overwhelmed with other people’s requests and would rather spend your time and energy on what matters.
So let’s look at the main reasons we DON’T say no to people:
You actually want to help the other person.
You’re afraid of conflict if you say no.
You’re worried that saying no may shut down other opportunities (remember that movie Yes Man?) such as promotions or future endeavours.
You don’t want to appear rude.
The fact is, however, that saying no is not in itself a bad thing; it’s the way you say no that the other person hears. Therefore learning to say no in a more positive or less confrontational way can make saying no a whole lot easier.
But how do you say no nicely?
Instead of just saying no, let the person asking know that now is not a good time, but that you’ll be glad to help at a different time.
Tell them you’ve got other priorities at the moment and therefore cannot commit to what they’re asking.
Let them know that you will consider their request but can’t commit to it straight away. This gives you the opportunity to weigh up their request and see if it really is worth your time and energy.
Point them in another direction, e.g. “I really don’t think I’m the best person for this job, why don’t you ask Mr Fisher?”
Saying no gets easier and more natural with time and you’ll probably find that the barriers you’ve built up in your mind are just that: All in your mind.
