My BFF Checklist - [website] Published: 5th of Aug 2011 by: Miss Knowitall
I’m not picky when it comes to choosing friends. I’d be quite nice to you if we met at the water cooler at work...
... and we’d probably end up chatting for hours, but this does not make you one of my BFFs, besties or girlfriends.
No, to be called a bestie takes a bit more than a couple of common interests, as I’m sure you’d all agree, and we probably all have certain requirements we expect our BFFs to live up to – after all, ‘BFF’ is somewhat of a coveted title.
To be considered one of my closest, most meaningful, most treasured friends, applicants need to fulfil the following requirements.
Guard the secrets I reveal under duress (usually after around two bottles of red wine) with absolute commitment, and I mean by treating them like prisoners in Alcatraz. The thing is that after five or six glasses of wine there’s no telling what I might confess to, and if you can’t bottle it up and bury it away (like me, obviously) I’m afraid we just won’t work.
Be brutally honest with me. That’s what friends are for, right? If there’s lettuce in my teeth, an untameable patch of hair on my head or mascara on my cheek I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT! Don’t make fools of us both by not letting me know the guy I’m with was making out with someone else or that I look fat in my new dress. We’re a team; you need to be on my side.
Thirdly, any BFF of mine needs to be quick on her toes. Whether this means charming us into a nightclub, getting dressed in a moving car or crying/flirting away a speeding fine, I need my besties to always be able to come up with a back-up plan at a minute’s notice. I lead a hectic life, plans are likely to change and I need friends who can keep up, not hold me back.
Be down-to-earth. Yes, life is hectic, but if you aren’t able to relax, or are wound up so tight you’re about to snap, we probably aren’t going to have much fun together. Stress is fine, it’ll help with requirement three, but if you simply can’t relax, are constantly worrying about the kids or work or your mom etc. etc., and don’t take a second to get off the hamster wheel once in a while, our social life is going to seriously stink.
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, my BFFs get me. They find my off-the-wall attempts at humour funny, respect my space, know to never – under any circumstances – call before 8.15am, and they look out for me like family.
Are there any requirements I’ve left out? What would it take to be called one of your BFFs?
