Assertiveness in a Nutshell - [website] Published: 18th of Jan 2012 by: Miss Knowitall
When you really look at it Assertive Expression can be boiled down to four basic key points...
...Describe, Express, Specify, Consequence. Let’s briefly look at each.
Describe. When being assertive you need to be able to describe to the other person exactly what the issue is. Use an “I” statement, this shows that you take responsibility for your emotions. Also, remember to remain unemotional when dealing with the issue.
Express. Focus on the positive feelings you have and not the resentment. E.g. “I enjoy helping you because I learn at the same time; I just don’t like it ALL the time”, instead of, “You expect too much from me!”
Specify. This is by far one of the most important aspects of assertiveness, because without being very specific people simply don’t know what we want from them. Be specific about times and actions and you can’t go wrong.
Consequence. If you’re going to threaten people with consequences the one thing to remember is, if you can’t or won’t do it, don’t say it! Dire threats that you don’t follow through with can be your worst nightmare – people stop taking you seriously. Be specific when talking about consequences and deadlines.
